I, of course, cannot speak for every stay-at-home mom, however, there is nothing quite like the feeling when you have had a hard day of screaming babies and your husband walks through the door. Most of the time I am sitting on the floor playing with the babies when I catch a glimpse of my husband’s work truck pull up outside and I can feel myself exhale a little deeper than normal. This may sound dramatic but it’s all to true. Some may think the poor guy has been working all day, he should be able to come home and relax. Don’t get me wrong I know my husband works very hard to provide for our family. But so have I. I work hard everyday making sure that these babies are fed, changed, happy and developing as they should. I may not keep the cleanest house but my babies are clean and I have dinner on the table every night. So, I am doing something right. I watch the message boards on some of the twin sites that I follow and these women act so holier than thou. They say things like when my husband walks through the door I make sure that he has everything he needs and I let him relax. Screw that. These babies were made my him too and he should be just as responsible when he walks through that door. So, that does not fly in my household. I sometimes feel like I am waiting with baited breath as he opens that door to throw a baby at him and run away. But most of the time I just want a reprieve from the babies so I can pump without pushing toys toward a playing baby on the floor or cook dinner without stopping a hundred times because Noah is screaming so loud my fillings in my teeth hurt. I am lucky enough to have a husband who wants to spend time with his babies and has no problem taking over the duties when he gets home. For that I am thankful. Very thankful.
What’s better than the couple hour reprieve during the week when your husband gets home? The weekend of course! I count down the days during the week for Friday. There is nothing like the weekend. That is why you may see that I don’t and won’t blog much on the weekends. You may think it should be the opposite, that I should be able to blog more with the hubby home on the weekends. But I will usually spend most of my weekend getting out of this house for once or enjoying my babies more with an extra set of hands. An extra set of hands so I can actually hold my baby while I feed him. An extra set of hands to play and make the babies laugh. An extra set of hands to comfort a crying baby. An extra set of hands so I can actually get out of this house for once. To be as direct as humanly possible sometimes being a stay-at-home mom feels like a prisoner in my own house. If I had one baby I would be able to get out more. I wouldn’t be outnumbered. Taking the twins out of the house by myself gives me such anxiety that it is reserved for emergencies, like doctor’s appointments. How in the world would one be expected to take two babies to the mall or to the grocery store by themselves? What if they are both crying at the same time and I have my hands full at the store? Before the “big ice storm” we were supposed to get I packed up the babies and went to the store by myself for the first time last month. Never again until they are bigger. As usual, the babies were good and I was the one that was freaking out. In order to maneuver the babies easier we always take the stroller in the store. So, that’s what I did. Maybe there are some super hero mothers out there that can push a double stroller and a cart around a store but I am sure as hell not one of those super moms. So, I took a basket and put it around my arm. I was trying to buy the winter storm essentials. Do you know you really cannot fit that much in a basket before it starts to get heavy? If a twin mom is reading this they will understand this part for sure. It is impossible to go to any store or anywhere really without being stopped and being asked: “Are they twins?” Are they boys or girls?” “Are they identical?” or “Double trouble.” “You must have your hands full”, etc. I left that store with nothing that I needed and sweating. I hate to say things like I feel like a prisoner in my own house because it makes me feel like I am a bad mom or ungrateful for being given the opportunity to stay home with these sweet babies. But I am just being honest. I love being able to see every moment of growth but dammit it’s hard sometimes. I have worked since I was 16. I’ve been living on my own for quite awhile. Providing for myself. So not only have I given up working but in a way I gave given up some autonomy.
I have digressed, my point of this was that weekends are my bliss. My time for family time and my time to enjoy my babies a little more than during the week because I get to make them laugh and play with them. It’s not just taking care of their every want and need because I have someone to share in those duties. Take the opportunity during the weekends to take advantage of the other set of hands. Relinquish some of your control. Your husband might not do everything the way that you do them and that’s okay. Sometimes not everything you do is the “right” way. Different things can bring about the same results. As long as the babies are being taken care of who cares. Easier said than done, but I am really trying to work on this. Embrace the weekend and the time with your family. Take the moments that you can to enjoy some time with your husband and to yourself if at all possible. And if you see a lull in my blogs during the weekends it’s because I am trying to follow all of my own advice!! I will be trying to relinquish my control, enjoying my time with my husband and my babies, enjoying a few fleeing moments to myself, and being truly thankful I have a partner to help me along on this journey.