Earlier in the week I voiced my frustrations of isolation as a stay-at-home twin mom.  I am still very much struggling.  I have spent more of this morning weeping and snuggling with my cat (my trusty, fuzzy tissue) after putting the babies down for an early nap since they were up before the roosters.  However, I have been trying to get out and find a resolution to my situation.  After I made my blog entry on Monday, I still continued to have overwhelming emotions that manifested them into physical symptoms.  My chest was tight.  So tight that it traveled to my shoulders and arm.  I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest.  If I didn’t know better I would have thought I was having a heart attack.  Without even realizing it, but knowing that we all could use some time out of the house.  I packed the bubs in the stroller and took a long, long walk around the neighborhood.  My neighborhood isn’t fancy by any means, but it makes for a good walk.  It is very hilly and quiet during the day.  I just soaked up the fresh although humid and dreary air and relished in the fact that the rain held out so I could do it.

I have been doing this for weeks now without ever realizing the good effects it was having on me.  And not only me but the babies.  Even though it had been chilly out a few days that we went, I just put some layers on them or a blanket when needed and we would set out for a fairly good walk around 30-45 minutes.  I like to do this at the time of day that they are most fussy, which is usually around 3:00 p.m.  However, I sometimes do it when I need it, after their 10:00 feeding.  The babies are quiet (usually) throughout the whole walk.  I have some toys clipped onto the stroller and they either chew on them or just look around.  But you can tell they enjoy it because they aren’t complaining!

The action and volition of getting of the house is important for me.  I think it would be easy to get in the habit of never leaving the house.  If going actual places aren’t that easy and just end up giving me more anxiety, why not get out of the house and make it close to home in case of any baby meltdowns.  Not to mention the physical activity that I am sure my body needs.  During my pregnancy I gained 72 pounds.  I have since lost that weight, losing it around the time the babies were around 6 months.  Unfortunately even though my weight is back to where it was at my first prenatal visit I still don’t look the same.  My stomach is saggy.  I don’t fit into any of my old clothes.  So, I would like to fix that  but I think most importantly I want to be in good shape for the kids.  When they get bigger I want to be able to run and play.  I don’t have those memories of my childhood and would like my kids to fondly remember those times with me.  I don’t want to be sitting on the sidelines because I have no energy or stamina.

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So, I have learned this week even though my frustrations are still growing and manifesting I need to work on my mental health.  I have found this blog cathartic and so far getting out of the house and enjoying the fresh air.  I will continue to strive for ways to be stronger and I promise to share.

What do you all do to boost your mental health?