I don’t normally blog on the weekends, however, I have had a rather frustrating evening, my husband isn’t home and I would like to vent.

My day actually started out nice.  The boys took a decent morning nap and they had a play date at the park.  The bubs were fairly good and they enjoyed their time out of the house.  They of course cannot tell me that but they seemed rather pleased.  They were also inseparable today.  In the picture for this post is them just staring at each other.  So cute!

They woke up early from their second nap and my husband got sent home from work around noon.  I didn’t like what was in the fridge for dinner and lets face it, it’s Friday I don’t want to cook AGAIN!  So, I thought why not try to take the boys out to an actual dinner.  We should go to Texas Roadhouse.  My husband is on call this Memorial Day weekend and before we left he called his office to see if had gotten busy.  They told him no (he does HVAC).  So, we loaded up the boys and headed to an early dinner.  It was already busy at the restaurant even though it was only around 4:00 p.m.

It started out as a disaster.  In hindsight we should have just walked out.  I didn’t care for the high chairs.  They were tiny little high chairs that go on the bench in the booth and slid into place.  So, I put Noah in and my husband had Gabriel.  The straps on the one that Noah was in was broken.  So, we had to ask for another one and do the whole process over again.  The boys are loving actual food and oddly refusing their bottles.  I don’t know if that is a phase or if they are just ready to be weaned but that’s a whole other story.  So, we have the boys some of the rolls to keep them occupied.  They of course loved it.

As soon as we placed our orders, my husband’s phone rang.  He had four calls for emergency service.  I started to cry into my side salad.  This may seem dramatic but honestly I take care of the twins at least 85% by myself.  By Friday I am emotionally and physically drained.  I yearn for help.  I get excited when it’s Friday because I am no longer alone and my partner is there.  And if no one has had twins they cannot say they understand the struggle of putting twins to bed.  So, I knew at that moment sitting at the table I would be putting the babies to bed alone.  For some ungodly reason our bedtime routine consists of baths, bottle and story time.  It’s the routine and has been for probably at least five months.  I am scared to mess with that.  I have done it alone before but this week everything changed.  I have one baby that has mastered crawling and another that is belly crawling.

We decided to finish our dinner.  Well then Gabriel sounded like he was choking.  I cannot quite describe how he sounded but he sounded like he had something in his throat and couldn’t get it up and he was turning bright red.  We smacked his back and he laughed.  So, he was obviously okay but I thought maybe he had something in the back of his throat and he didn’t know what to do.  So, we have him a drink of water.  My husband even took him outside to get a better look at him since it was dark in the restaurant he was fine.  He was doing it for attention and he wanted more food.  I had brought baby food with me so we decided to feed them.  At that point Gabriel started spitting his food all over, hitting me and getting all over my shirt across the table.

I was over it.

We packed up our entrees and asked for a the tab.  At that moment the woman sitting behind my husband (I can see her) hocks a loogie (I am not quite sure that is how that is spelled but it’s not in my common vernacular) and spits it into a bowl.  I shit you not.  Who does that?  Is that normal?

We left.

I will not go into detail but bath time with one baby crawling was an epic disaster.  I have to wash them one at a time because one baby won’t sit up in the bath tub because he is too busy playing with his boy parts (which isn’t a big deal when there are two of us–we have an awesome routine).  I had one baby crawling all over me while bathing the other and it was just an epic shit show.

But both babies are bathed, fed and asleep as I write this.  So, my job is done.

Sometimes I really do feel alone.  The worst part is that no one truly understand this unless they have twins.  The struggle of two babies at the exact same age is unreal sometimes.

I am having a pity party tonight, can you tell?  I know the silver lining is hey he is getting overtime but honestly I don’t care about the money.  No amount of money will make up for missed time with family or my sanity but I guess if it has to be that way that is the silver lining.

On a different note, this is Memorial Day weekend.  I hope everyone takes a minute and really thinks about the meaning and remembers those that have died for our country.  I will take an extra few minutes this weekend and remember happy moments of my brother.  I have written of him in the past he was in the Navy and a veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom and he killed himself on Christmas of 2014.  He sacrificed his mental health for this country and he will always be remembered as a hero in my book regardless of how we went out.

Also as a side note, my husband is in the service industry and they do run emergency service calls to service people’s air conditioners and heaters.  Prior to meeting him I never thought about tipping service people who come to my home, granted prior to this I did live in an apartment.  But he is taking time away from his family on holidays.  He was on call for Christmas last year and got called out quite a few times.  It’s amazing how many people do not tip but even something small goes a long way when someone has to take hours away from their families on holidays or weekends.

Anyways, I hope that everyone has a safe holiday weekend!