I truly feel like being a twin mom is some kind of elitist club. It’s a double-edged sword to be in this club. In the same hand you are doubly blessed but also have the curse of being stuck with people not understanding your day in and day out struggles. It’s hard for me to relate to well basically anyone that I know anymore. I don’t know but a couple of twin moms in real life (versus virtual world). I have connected with some awesome moms since starting this blog but not one close enough to hang out with and get our kids together. This is part of the reason as I had said in the past that being a twin mom feels very isolating. For one its hard to leave the house, no one wants to visit a house with screaming babies and even if they did they still can’t relate to me. My friends don’t understand what its like having two babies that need the exact same things at the exact same time and that are going through the same learning developments at the same time. I think that really is integral. That’s why it is annoying when people say I have kids very close in age so I understand. Nope, nope you don’t. Yesterday was quite a frustrating day. The bubs learned to crawl and well I don’t think that is going to last very long. Noah is already trying to walk with one of those push walkers. But they are learning to pull up. Rather than finding an inanimate object to pull up on, which would make the most sense, they like to use me. It started with Noah. He would pull up on my shirt crying in my face because he couldn’t get leverage. Then it evolved into him basically grasping at anything on me to pull himself up. It could be my hair, my ears, my necklace, sleeve or just anything he could grasp at. Once he’s up he just hangs on and I’m stuck. If I move I knock him down. I can’t tend to the other baby. If I put him down on the ground he would through a tantrum of epic proportions, slamming his face on the floor which then turns into a justifiable shit fit. This was leaving me to neglect Gabe because I was constantly tending to Noah. Well yesterday it started. Gabe wanting to pull up on me. I had two tiny humans grasping on me constantly yesterday. And not only that they were crying and hysterical. It really was a shit show yesterday. By the end of the day I was shaken. My nerves shot. I know this is a stage and it too shall pass but I think this is the hardest one yet. Not only am I trying to help them but we have hardwood or laminate type flooring rather and they keep falling. I don’t know what to do with that. Do I let them fall? I posted on my personal Facebook page and moms responded, yes let them fall.
But back to my point. This is why being a twin mom is an elitist club. You have to put up with two tiny humans needing the same things and going through every developmental stage there is at the same time. I see singleton moms bitch about chasing their kids around all the time. Now imagine doing that alone times two. Seems hard, right? Then why on earth would you tell a twin mom to bring her kids in tow to an event? If one person has a hard time keeping up with one baby or toddler, how do you think a twin mom will handle it? She will have a hard time. I think the biggest piece of advice I can give to someone is to have some compassion and understanding to a twin mom. I understand that I have neglected friendships and relationships within my family. However I get so sick of hearing, just bring them with you. That makes me realize how truly isolated I am. People just don’t understand. Sometimes in my head I say wait until they have a kid but then I remember it doesn’t matter because they won’t have two. They still won’t truly understand. And I guess at this point in my twin mom hood I am in a stage that I will call “my give a shit is broken”. Especially right now. My husband being injured and not much of a help (not complaining just stating what is) is making things a little more difficult around the house and I have to focus on my family. They have to be my main focus because let’s face it they are my priority.
However, being a twin mom is also so awesome. You get to have twice the love, twice the hugs, twice the kisses and twice the laughs. If one baby is crabby the other baby is usually happy. Sometimes they are both crabby in this house but it’s few and far between. So, at least you still have a rainbow at the end of the storm. My babies are now giving kisses. Or at least when I say “give me kiss” they will kind of just come at you in slow motion with their mouth half open. Which I think is just so hilariously cute! So being in this elitist club has its perks. There is also enough baby loving to go around. When my husband is not broken we are able to both hold a baby and love on them. That’s pretty special. Also, they have each other. Since putting up a large playpen in my living room they play together now. This is the first time that they have really truly played with each other and it is just so neat to watch. The are usually side by side tinkering with something. It is also really amazing how they go through the different stages of growing and learning but do them differently. For instance, Noah learned how to crawl the traditional way. Gabe, on the other hand, learned to crawl on his belly dragging his little legs behind him at first and then a week and a half later then, started crawling on his knees. My identical twins couldn’t be more different in the way they learn and develop. So, seeing that is just so cool to me.
I love being a twin mom but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have bad days. Yesterday was one of those bad days and sometimes it’s just nice to vent. It is also nice to be able to relate to other twin moms. So, don’t take this post as a tirade. Also, if someone is reading this and they don’t have twins but may know someone who has twins maybe this will give them some insight and understanding into that person and what they may be dealing with. I see compassion going out the window in this world. If people had more compassion towards others or at least understanding to someones circumstances the world might be a happier place.