The time had come for me to take a hard look in the mirror at the carnage the toll of a twin pregnancy had taken on my body.  When I looked into that mirror I was disgusted with what I saw.  I looked like I ate my previous self and I wasn’t even skinny to begin with.  Looking at my stomach I saw stretch marks and scars from my gall bladder surgery from last November.  My husband had gotten into the habit of getting a LARGE blizzard from Dairy Queen every night.  First off who the hell has that kind of money to waste on fucking ice cream?? NOT US! And every morning I woke up feeling full and disgusted.  We had fallen down a horrible rabbit hole of gluttony and sloth.  I told him several times we can’t live like this.  He constantly reassured me I looked fine and that we really didn’t eat that bad.  I told him September 1st I was changing everything about my diet and he can climb aboard or not.  I am not blaming him at all.  We all have the privilege of free choice.  I chose to be a glutton and eat that damn blizzard and the fast food.  I have known from the beginning that I didn’t want my kids to eat like that.  I didn’t want them to want fast food and greasy, unhealthy foods.  So, in the mornings my bubs always got fresh fruit, eggs, cheerios and for lunch items like sweet potatoes more fresh fruit and whatever main entrée, like baked chicken.  So, while my kids were eating wonderfully my breakfast was filled with a bagel and Reese’s Puff cereal.  See a problem?  Well I did.  I knew I need to lead by example.  So, September 1st started the change.  I will not say diet because to me diet seems finite.  I wanted this change to be infinite.  So, I truly want this to be a lifestyle change.  I want to be that mom packing fruit and healthy snacks for her kids.  If my kids never have to “diet” in their life but rather just have it engrained into their lifestyle I will feel like I succeeded.  If I can prevent my kids from struggling with their weight like I have my whole entire life that would be wonderful.  I know that there can be unforeseen circumstances but if I can do my part to help prevent then I will do so.

We started from that day to exercise as much as possible as well.  Has anyone tried to fit in time to exercise with twins?  Well it can be done.  I’ve never been a gym kind of person.  I hate being inside a room with sweaty people.  I rather be outside.  I’ve always tried to walk as much as possible but I knew that in order to drop some weight I would need to do more than that.  So, my husband and I decided that we would try to jog.  I have never ran in my life.  Even as a teenager I formed every excuse in gym class to get out of dressing out.  I had notes, I would “forget” my uniform or I would flat-out take a zero.  I hated it.  So, needless to say I have never fulfilled running a mile.  So, we started slow.  We would walk and then jog from one point to another.  I wasn’t even getting probably more than 50 feet in the beginning.  This weekend marked a big milestone in my life, I jogged for a mile and a half straight.  A mile and a half!!! I felt awesome.  Tired but awesome.  However, my husband was with me and he is a great cheerleader and trainer, pushing me to go beyond what I think that  I can do and break down those barriers.  And more importantly he was pushing the stroller with the little chunky babies in there.  Yesterday, however, I ran over a mile pushing the babies on a jog by myself.  I did 5k in 42 minutes.  Now that sounds like a bad time, right?  But it’s a good starting point and I am pretty proud of myself.  How do I manage to do this with twins?  Well my bubs are still taking two naps a day so it’s not always easy squeezing it in the schedule.  They usually wake up around 10:30-11:00 a.m. from their first nap.  I usually feed them and get them in the car and go for a jog.  It’s not always easy but it sure is nice getting them out of the house everyday.  Keep them occupied and they love watching nature, dogs and other people why we are out.   Sometimes I have to stop early because someone is fussing but something is better than nothing.

I think the hardest part about being out on a jog with the babies are the comments.  Many people try to stop me and talk to me.  It can get aggravating but I know that they don’t mean any harm.  The most frustrating thing is when people actually walk in front of the stroller to ask me a question.  I think it’s rude as hell.  Twice now I have gotten people who ask how old the bubs are.  I respond 14 months and then have asked, “don’t they walk?”.  I respond yes they do and they have the audacity to say then shouldn’t you take them out of the stroller.  The first time I thought whatever guy and kept on my jog, the second time I was just like are you effing kidding me? Have you jogged with toddlers before? Ummmmmm no.  Just no.  I have now decided I am not stopping to answer people’s questions, I will just keep going and shout answers while I leave a trail of dust.

In addition to jogging, I have started yoga.  I am only on day three, but I am excited.  My muscles are so tight and my flexibility is at zero.  In addition to that the first two times I have done it I am left feeling very relaxed afterwards.  And I am not sure how anyone else’s 14 month old twins act but mine have been holy terrors lately.  So, any kind of relaxing or centering of myself I can do, I am willing to try.  I think terrible two’s are in full swing in my house (I will write about that this week).

To date, since September 1st, I am down 20 pounds.  It’s a start and to me it’s not about the number on the scale but setting a good example for my boys to follow.  I don’t want to be that mom telling them I won’t play with them outside because I get too winded.  A couple of years ago I was told that I may have Lupus.  It’s been uncategorized as a connective tissue disorder and I battle aches joints.  If I can help improve my health through diet and exercise, I am going to take control.  I want to be there for all of my kids’ major milestones and don’t want anything standing in my way!

Anyone else go on a journey like this after twins?  Or any baby for that matter?